Motherhood

Beginner’s Guide to Motherhood: 10 Most Valuable Advise

Motherhood / By Nils / October 3, 2023 October 2, 2023

Parenting 101_Parenting hacks For Newborns

Parenting Advise – Most Valuable Advise for New Parents (baby upto 6 months) - Part 3

I am not a doctor, or any way qualified professionally but personally – I am slowly graduating to a pro. Hence, here I am, sharing my learning which are based on my own experiences. So here are my Most Valuable Advise, straight from the war-zone (hah!).

Read this in conjunction with the first 2 parts here and here.

“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” – Rumi

10 Most Valuable Advise - My learnings

The very first lesson – holding the baby : one hand should always, always be at the back of his neck and the other on his back or on his rump. Their spines are not hardened yet.

There are 2 main reasons why a child cries – he’s hungry or he’s sleepy. Try to feed him first and if he doesn’t take, then try to put him to sleep. Whichever works, note the type of cry for future reference. I have learnt which cry means he’s sleepy.

If he cries non-stop even after the above two, then he is in pain – either stomach-ache or ear-ache.

Keep medicines for colic and paracetamol. Administer the colic medicine first if baby is crying incessantly. If even that doesn’t work, give some paracetamol. However, consult your baby’s pediatrician about which medicines to give and what doses.

After baby’s umbilical cord has fallen off, start bathing baby. Before that, give sponge baths but take care of the cord and dress it as per advice from hospital/doctor.

Babies often wake up with a start or jerk during sleep; keep something slightly heavy over his chest or turn him on his side to prevent this. For me, the former didn’t work but the latter did.

Diapers make the baby uneasy and can give him rashes. Keep him in soft cloth nappies as long as possible. I kept him in diapers at night only to ensure sound sleep, because he may have woken up during nappy change otherwise.

Baby nails grow alarmingly quickly, and they tend to scratch themselves. Nail cutting should be done only when he is in deep sleep and then too, not to the very edge since soft skin lies underneath. You can also try mittens to eliminate the scratching. We did that when we couldn’t cut his nails just yet.

Hot Oil massage is important for a baby’s strength and development. He will kick and throw punches at an early stage if so.

Trust your instincts about your baby’s health and well-being. Be patient, give yourself and your baby time to know each other.

Help is a call away...

These are all things that have worked for me; to have a happy and healthy baby. Most of this advise came from my parents or doctor or my advisors (friend’s sister and brother-in-law). I filtered out what worked for me so I can give first-hand advise rather than those of books.

I hope this helps someone out there!

This concludes the newborn phase of the series. In the next part, I talk about the growth stages of a baby upto 1 year, what to look out for.

7 Essential facts About Babies For New Parents

Motherhood / By Nils / September 30, 2023 September 29, 2023

Parenting Advise – Tips for New Parents (baby upto 6 months) Part 2

My Motherhood journey taught me quite a few things which I am sharing here. I hope my personal experiences will help some new mother out there and let them know that it’s okay to be worried but know that they will eventually figure things out. This post is about those essential facts about babies which all new parents must know.

Don’t Worry, It’s Normal!

I think every mother / parent feels this at some point or another – I don’t know how to be a mother, I can’t even do this, or that. I’ll tell you this – don’t worry, it’s normal. However many books you read or videos you watch in preparation, you can actually never be prepared for the reality. So just take each step as it comes. And always, keep learning.

Being a New Mommy

As I approached the date of delivery, I started to get nervous. Till now, all I had to do was to take care of myself and the baby was doing all the growing inside the womb. Now, he would be out in the world, a vulnerable, helpless human being who would be totally dependent on me/us for every single thing. How would I do it? I knew nothing!!! Furthermore, I hadn’t even read any parenting books. I started to buy one when I realized that the reviews were mixed and said that books don’t really help.

The First Few Days...

That first night, I was even afraid to take him in my arms…what if I did it wrong? But as I learnt, it was instinctive to be extremely careful, to handle my precious one as if he was breakable. The first night in the hospital, the nurse offered to let him keep me overnight and I refused; I didn’t think I could handle it yet.

Apart from feeding him at the hospital, I had not handled him until the time he was handed to me at the time of leaving the hospital. That first time of handling him gave me the confidence, and gradually I started to believe I could and would be able to take care of him.

The Challenges of a Newborn's Parent

The challenges of being a parent are innumerable however those initial days are the hardest. There were many bad days when we just didn’t know what to do. The tension in those moments was so high that arguments were galore but we got over them by putting our heads together.

Now, we know that we can work out the reason and solution logically. For example, there was the day he just wouldn’t stop crying. We did various things – feeding, rocking, stomach-ache meds, humming, etc. and ultimately we could calm him down. Another day he wasn’t sleeping the whole day; again we talked to the doctor and adults and could figure out the issue. Then, one day went by without him pooping at all (vs. pooping 3-4 times). A phone call to the doctor helped ease our minds.

Advise: Never be afraid to ask for help! Parents and doctors play a big role in sorting out the problems.

7 Essential Facts About Babies New Parents must Know

Here are a few common things you will worry about at some point but are actually normal baby behaviour – because babies are unpredictable, as said correctly by Dr. Abhijit Misra.

He sleeps too much! Don’t worry, babies can sleep upto 23 hours! It’s also normal to sleep during the day and stay awake at night.
He is okay on my lap but wakes up as soon as I put him down! All babies do that, they crave the warmth and softness of a mother’s lap.
He is peeing a lot! He can pee as many times as he feeds or more. The thumb rule is: he should pee atleast 6-8 times a day.
Is he eating enough? He should take a feed 6-8 times a day, more if required.
If he feeds 6-8 times, pees 6-8 times and doubles his weight in 4-5 months, the baby is fine. Relax!
He hasn’t pooped today! Well, if your baby is breastfeeding, then he can go without pooping for 7-10 days !! For formula fed-babies, he should poop everyday.
I think he’s cold or is he hot? Why is he fussing? Well, he feels whatever temperature you feel. So don’t over-wrap or over-expose.

For other pointers, check out this page: https://drabhijitmisra.com/?s=Newborn+

Coming up in the next part, parenting advise straight from my personal experiences. Keep an eye on this space. Subscribe to my blog to receive emails as soon as the new article is posted.

Tips for New Moms: Embracing Motherhood

Motherhood / By Nils / September 27, 2023 September 29, 2023

Parenting Advise – Tips for New Parents (baby upto 6 months) Part 1

MOTHERHOOD TALES PART 1

My little boy just turned 2! I can hardly believe it. To celebrate it, this month I am launching the motherhood section of my blog.

I intend to share tips & tricks, and stories of my mommy life. The first couple of parts are about the baby stage upto 6 months. Then we move on to the baby stage upto 2 years and after that, comes the toddler stage of so-called terrible twos which I will share as we go on.

This first part hopefully helps out new moms, soothe the anxieties and help guide through the new challenges.

The main question - How Do You Know?

And the simple answer: Well, you don’t.

So, don’t panic!

You guess or you develop an instinct. This basically goes for almost any question under the sun regarding your newborn. Is my baby hungry? Is he full yet? Is my baby sleepy? Is he cold or is he hot? Should I pick him up or not? Shall I let him sleep in my lap or should I put him down? Is he in pain or is he just cranky? If so, WHY is he cranky?

It’s almost impossible to tell, because, of course, your baby can’t tell you what he wants or what his ailment is. But, there are certain pointers which I will be sharing here which can give you a hint as to what can keep your baby happy and healthy. Otherwise, as a mother and, in fact, as a parent all you can do is gauge reactions and learn and improvise.

It's a Learning Curve

Motherhood is a learning curve, one where you learn something new every day. Babies are unpredictable but there are atleast some things you can note and learn and then adapt accordingly. Ofcourse, there are people to guide you – doctors, parents, friends and family who are parents already – but, those are just guidelines which can act as pointers. In the end, decisions have to he taken by you and whatever good or bad (touchwood it doesn’t) happens, the responsibility is yours and your spouse’s.

You will gradually learn to distinguish which cry of your baby means he’s sleepy, which is a tantrum to be picked up, or which one means he is simply hungry. Incessant crying, though, usually means he’s in pain or is uneasy.

When something works, keep in mind for next time what did the trick and got him/her to be soothed.

Does Motherhood Really Mean Sleepless Nights?

The other all important question which you might have – is your precious sleep no more?

If you’re lucky, it doesn’t have to be. But for very very few people have I heard so.

Yes, there will be sleepless nights, night after night when the baby will be crying and you won’t know why he just won’t sleep. Then, he’ll be sleeping throughout the day when you need to eat and bathe and do your household activities. That leaves you precious little time to sleep. And then the cycle starts again. The saying “you should sleep when the baby sleeps” is just a myth. That said, you should still take atleast a couple hours nap because you need to rest and heal; a sick you is no help to the baby.

How long till Baby's sleep cycle normalizes?

The consensus is, apparently, that it takes 3 months to stabilize and come to a proper routine. But here again there are various opinions and experiences; some say 4 months, some say 6 while others say it was never an issue!

Well, for me, up to 5 months, my baby slept at dawn and woke at noon! So, it’s all different from baby to baby.

But rest assured, the hardest part is upto 6 months, there-on it gets better sleep-wise.

Is It Worth It?

Of course it is!

The pregnancy, the birth and then the sleepless nights, the endless worry, the hyper-awareness and the zero me-time – are all of these worth it? One simple answer – yes!

Every time I look at the tiny bundle I created, it fills me with joy and wonder. Every time I do something that makes him smile, I’m incandescent. Every time he does something new, I feel so proud! So yes, it is worth it.

In my next post...

How did you like the introduction? Drop me a line to let me know your thoughts.

In my next post, I will share the advise – in actual numbers and names – as received from my well wishers and which were my guidelines in those first 6 months of new-mommyhood.

Stay tuned.